UPDATE

I'm dreading the day when I have to blog about the English school system because that means I will have had to figure it out. So far I know we are registered for nursery (nursery school - an easy one) and the rest is a confusing blur of ornate language (primary and secondary schools, sixth forms, reception age, A-levels blah blah blah ). Unfortunately I will be figuring it out soon and I promise to keep you posted with a new post.

In the mean time I'm about to start studying for an immigration test (exam) to get my indefinite leave to remain, which is not unlike a green card. Taking a test is called sitting for an exam, so at least I know I won't have to stand.

I read somewhere that most Americans couldn't pass our own immigration test - which doesn't surprise me. How does a bill become a law? All I remember is, "I'm just a bill, yes I'm only a bill and I'm sitting here on capital hill..." then what happens?

London has been beautiful the last couple weeks and we've been enjoying all her green glory and spending a lot of time in local parks, taking the baby to the swings and having picnicks with friends. At the playground I noticed lots of new differences - parents don't say "Good Job!" they say "Well done!" and instead of, "Good Boy!" (which I say more like g'boy) I hear "Clever Boy!"

I've been taking photos of english words in situ. Here is habedashery at work:

More to come once this test is behind me (next week) and for now I've stolen this little list we helped compile for Jill's blog

Reckon = think (I reckon this word sounds sort of ridiculous)

Double 8 = 88 (as in Double 0 7!)

Swap out = to switch on and off.

Diversion = detour

Polo neck = turtle neck

Plaster = band aid.

Jumper = sweater

Compulsory = mandatory

Fringe = bangs

Mine = my place, "come over to mine"

Bank holiday = national holiday

Public school = private school

State school = public school

Post = mail

Joiners = carpenters

MONEY MATTERS

Pounds are the currency here in Great Britain and just like we can have a few bucks, they get a a few quid or a bit of dosh. Bills are notes so, a 5 dollar bill's equivalent is a 5 pound note. If you're in a hurry you could call a 5 pound note a fiver and a 10 pound note a tenner.

You can retrieve Pounds from your nearest cash point (ATM) which I have also heard referred to as a hole in the wall. One thing I love about british cash points is that after you put in your pin code (why can't they just say pin?) the machine says, "we are dealing with your request," and once they confirm, "please remove your card and your cash will follow." Hooray for never leaving my card in a machine again!

You pay for things at a cash till (cash register) and if you go to the bank here you should consider bringing a book because you will most likely be waiting in line, or queueing, for ages. Queue is also a noun and it means the line people stand in: one must find the queue and then queue.

By the way if it's not clear the word is pronounced "Q" like the letter.

Speaking of letters, did you know that H is pronounced "Hay-ch?" and Herbs is said with a very breathy "H" sound... in America it's more "Erbs."

Anyway, a cashiers check is known as a bank draft - and instead of opening a CD (which stands for certificate of deposit, thanks Liza!) you put money "on deposit." If you were unlucky enough to be made redundant (to be let go) or get sacked (get fired), you would negotiate your redundancy (severance package). A 401K is known as a pension scheme.

A huge difference between the US and UK is the use of chip and pin technology. Instead of swiping cards, here they are all fitted with little computer chips and you choose a pin code. At shops (stores) and restaurants you insert your card into a little machine and type in your code. Most restaurants have multiple wireless machines the waiters bring to the table - eliminating the need to sign for anything.

Jillian feels I would be remiss in leaving out the fact that this system is designed to reduce fraud. She would like me to mention that in the states nobody really compares signatures or checks identification. In Europe they are far more vigilant. If you have an American card without a "chip and pin," they can swipe it but will require another form of ID and they will hold onto your card while you sign and compare the signatures.

Lastly, while spending your hard earned wages (salary) you might like to look for things that have gone on offer (on sale) and if you're over 65 and eligible for a discount, you're getting a concession.

EMBARRASSING

Faux pas are inevitable when you spend enough time immersed in a new culture...

My first day in grad school a faulty sink drenched me and when I got back to my meeting I said something about my pants being wet. Well, pants is the word for underwear so there were a few giggles at my expense. By the way, trousers is the word for pants and underwear can also be called knickers.

When I finished my dissertation I thought it might be nice to get it bound or printed on nice paper with some kind of cover. I remembered there was a bookmakers I always walked past and so I went in with a printed copy, stood on line, went up to the counter and asked what sort of book binding options they had. It was only when the man behind the counter stared at me blankly that I sort of took in my surroundings. Why does a bookmakers have 5 televisions showing horse races and lots of tiny pieces of paper and golf pencils strewn all around? And why is it so dark in here, how do they sew the bindings? It took me a minute, which is 59 seconds too long but, it took me a minute to realize that a bookmakers is a betting shop. I thought, "oh yeah like bookies!" and quickly left.

Another time we were having dinner with some family and my husband's lovely niece told me she was meeting her anti-natal group the next day. Are you wondering if thats a group for people who don't want to have kids - cause I was. Well, we're both wrong and I tricked you with my misspelling, it's an ante-natal group and in America we call those Pre-natal.

Going to stop here, it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood and we're heading to the park.

BESPOKE RESTAURANT TIPS

Thank you to my friends for all the great suggestions of words to discuss.

Today's word is BESPOKE (ahhh!)

Bespoke (ahhh!) is the English word for custom or customized. Bespoke Tailoring is basically a custom suit - in England you find lots bespoke items: tailoring, curtains, invitations... the ONLY Bespoke thing you absolutely cannot get is Bespoke Chocolates. That's because they are only available in nyc and they can't ship overseas (believe me I've tried to get them!!)

Other things:

A mess is called a Tip, as in "This place is a tip!"

If you wanted to leave a tip in a restaurant you would be leaving gratuity which, when included in your check (which by the way is called your bill) would be called a service charge. Here's a good sentence to practice with, "Is there a service charge included in my bill because I wasn't sure if I should leave a gratuity?"

A reservation is a booking and you can conjugate book like a verb.

What time shall I book for?

Have you booked?

David is booking a table!

If the restaurant is a tip it is likely full of rubbish and the staff will have to tidy it. A tip is a mess, to tidy is to clean and rubbish is the word for garbage or trash. A rubbish bin is a garbage pail and trash bags are known as bin liners or black sacks.

When you're out to eat you may need to use the bathroom. In England a bathroom is a room with a bath, so you're really looking for the toilets or a loo. They don't say restroom but if you asked for the ladies you would be OK. Toilet paper is also known as toilet roll or loo roll and a toilet paper holder: loo roll holder.

If you were hoping to get an appetizer you'll need to ask for a starter. And since it takes too long to say main courses you choose form a list of mains. Desserts are called puddings or sweet. Sometimes people will ask if you "Fancy sweet?"

To Fancy is to want.

Four years ago I asked an english guy if he wanted to hang out on the weekend, my future-husband replied with a text saying "Fancy tea on Sunday." I immediately called my cousins for translation, "Does that mean he's busy having expensive tea this weekend?"

DOCTORS

Some weeks, I have to confess, I do hate it here. It's not London though its the fact that London is not where I grew up, have old friends and know my way around. Anyway, when I'm homesick my best distraction is pointing out all the things that seem silly and telling my husband how in *America* everything is wonderful, efficient, easy, and makes sense. (Oh please! who am I kidding)

Anyway:

Doctors who are specialists are called Mr. - if you call them Dr. its insulting, because they have been promoted... back to the same title as every other man on the planet.

Specialists are called Consultants. So, when I had my baby I had a consultant. Oh, and maternity ward nurses are called midwives, just to freak me out and make me think they have no medical training.

Dr's offices are called Surgeries, so if you want a check-up you go to surgery. If you have a cold, you go to surgery. And by the way check-ups are called checks, so I had to take the baby for her "six week check." (Checks you write for payment are spelled cheques)

Operating rooms are called theaters. So, when you have your appendix taken out you go into the theater.

Theaters are, to my knowledge, called theaters. Concert Halls are called Halls, but so are dorms - so when I was a grad student I was living in Halls (Halls of Residence).

I could keep going but I'm exhausted - the baby has been sick this week.

Or as the English would say

I could carry on but I'm knackered - the baby has been poorly all week.

goodnight!

TIC TAC TOE

Tic Tac Toe = Noughts and Crosses

so, zero is nought

Xs are crosses

Z is said Zed

and a Dumpster is a Skip