pronouns, cheryl cole and larry king

Gosh, it's been a while. Hope everyone is well. We've had a lovely few months here in London, including a few visits to the states (*sigh) and trips to sunny places over the summer. Now here we are again, it's a little colder and a little darker and winter is creeping in.

There's a little tv show here called The X Factor. You'd have to be living under a rock not to hear about it daily and even though I don't really follow along, yesterday I watched a little. It's just American Idol without the Americans. Simon Cowell's even got the same seat. One of the judges is a woman called Cheryl Cole. She's one of those famous-in-Europe pop stars and yesterday after the show ended there was an hour long interview with her and the-guy-whose-taking-over-for-Larry-King. See article here

I think Cheryl Cole seems nice, I hadn't heard much about her before the show and I didn't know about her headline making divorce or recent illness. The main reason I watched the entire interview was that I liked her accent. But, what I found truly amazing, is her crazy way of using/misusing pronouns. I mean, that was something! She was actually making up words and then she would refer to herself in the third person, the first person and then in the plural...

Examples,

"There's a part of us that will always love him, he's a big part of me life."

"it was the day after me birthday..."

"its time i give meself my own voice back" (meself isn't a word!?!)

"i would never of took me vows if i didn't."

"oh, we's will."

oh yes. she really said we's will

piers morgan: you haven't called me pet yet.

cheryl cole: oh we's will.

piers morgan: "do you think he still wants you back?"

cheryl cole: "i don't think he ever wanted to let her go."

me: "HER? what's going on?"

piers morgan: "do you feel better for talking about it?"

cheryl cole: "ask us in a couple hours."

and then, "he changed me life when he invited us onto the x factor."

Explainations:

My husband says, "she's a Geordie that's how they speak."

Urban dictionary says A Geordie is a person that comes from Newcastle and has a distinct accent.

OK, so that explains it.

Well, I is got to go to bed now, we am very tired.

PASSED AND NOW BECOMING A VAMPIRE

In case you were curious - I passed the "Life in the UK" test. phew!

It really wasn't bad but I did have to study and memorize lots of numbers and dates. I now know the populations of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland (50mil, 5mil, 2.9mil, 1.7mil respectively) and dates like what year women were given the right to vote (1918) and when to celebrate St George's day (actually I've already forgotten this one).

There was a lot of literature about women's rights and children's rights, domestic violence, how to contact police and how to receive "benefits" (government aide). There were chapters devoted to explaining mortgages and credit cards and how to apply for social housing and register with a local NHS doctor's office. They even explained who to call when you don't feel well. I want to think these chapters are unnecessary but, instead I'm thinking about what it would be like for someone from a non-western or even just non-English speaking country to move to London how to move to London and... flip out?

So this weekend is a, "Bank Holiday Weekend," which means that Monday is, "Bank Holiday Monday," which means that it's a national holiday when the banks are closed. No specific reason, just a day the bank is closed and in what feels like a consequence of the banks being closed, schools and post offices are shut and most people get the day off. In the states we always seem to have a reason for bank holidays like Martin Luther King Day. Bank Holidays are always tacked on to a weekend, either on a Friday or a Monday which I think is a nice touch.

People ask each other, "what are you doing bank holiday?"

translation: "what are you doing on the long weekend?"

Hmmm not sure about my translation, maybe "what are your plans for the long weekend" is better?

This brings me to a troubling point. I've been living here for almost 6 years and I know that I have deeply integrated loads (lots) of English expressions and vocabulary into my daily language. Of course I've had to for the practicality of making myself understood but, sometimes I actually have to remember how we say things at home. I'll know I'm saying something very English but I'll have been saying it so much I can't remember any other way. And sometimes I use expressions unnecessarily. I use "get sorted," all the time. I'll tell my husband how, "I need to sort that out," when I should be saying "I need to figure that out." I'm American I shouldn't, "sort out my desk," I should organize it!

Ugh, this must be what its like to have just been bitten by a vampire. I'm probably in the early stages of denial; when you only just start to notice that the sun is slightly beginning to bug you and next thing you know, you're ordering a steak. rare. for breakfast.... drinking blood would the equivalent of adopting one of those english-but-american accents.

UPDATE

I'm dreading the day when I have to blog about the English school system because that means I will have had to figure it out. So far I know we are registered for nursery (nursery school - an easy one) and the rest is a confusing blur of ornate language (primary and secondary schools, sixth forms, reception age, A-levels blah blah blah ). Unfortunately I will be figuring it out soon and I promise to keep you posted with a new post.

In the mean time I'm about to start studying for an immigration test (exam) to get my indefinite leave to remain, which is not unlike a green card. Taking a test is called sitting for an exam, so at least I know I won't have to stand.

I read somewhere that most Americans couldn't pass our own immigration test - which doesn't surprise me. How does a bill become a law? All I remember is, "I'm just a bill, yes I'm only a bill and I'm sitting here on capital hill..." then what happens?

London has been beautiful the last couple weeks and we've been enjoying all her green glory and spending a lot of time in local parks, taking the baby to the swings and having picnicks with friends. At the playground I noticed lots of new differences - parents don't say "Good Job!" they say "Well done!" and instead of, "Good Boy!" (which I say more like g'boy) I hear "Clever Boy!"

I've been taking photos of english words in situ. Here is habedashery at work:

More to come once this test is behind me (next week) and for now I've stolen this little list we helped compile for Jill's blog

Reckon = think (I reckon this word sounds sort of ridiculous)

Double 8 = 88 (as in Double 0 7!)

Swap out = to switch on and off.

Diversion = detour

Polo neck = turtle neck

Plaster = band aid.

Jumper = sweater

Compulsory = mandatory

Fringe = bangs

Mine = my place, "come over to mine"

Bank holiday = national holiday

Public school = private school

State school = public school

Post = mail

Joiners = carpenters

MONEY MATTERS

Pounds are the currency here in Great Britain and just like we can have a few bucks, they get a a few quid or a bit of dosh. Bills are notes so, a 5 dollar bill's equivalent is a 5 pound note. If you're in a hurry you could call a 5 pound note a fiver and a 10 pound note a tenner.

You can retrieve Pounds from your nearest cash point (ATM) which I have also heard referred to as a hole in the wall. One thing I love about british cash points is that after you put in your pin code (why can't they just say pin?) the machine says, "we are dealing with your request," and once they confirm, "please remove your card and your cash will follow." Hooray for never leaving my card in a machine again!

You pay for things at a cash till (cash register) and if you go to the bank here you should consider bringing a book because you will most likely be waiting in line, or queueing, for ages. Queue is also a noun and it means the line people stand in: one must find the queue and then queue.

By the way if it's not clear the word is pronounced "Q" like the letter.

Speaking of letters, did you know that H is pronounced "Hay-ch?" and Herbs is said with a very breathy "H" sound... in America it's more "Erbs."

Anyway, a cashiers check is known as a bank draft - and instead of opening a CD (which stands for certificate of deposit, thanks Liza!) you put money "on deposit." If you were unlucky enough to be made redundant (to be let go) or get sacked (get fired), you would negotiate your redundancy (severance package). A 401K is known as a pension scheme.

A huge difference between the US and UK is the use of chip and pin technology. Instead of swiping cards, here they are all fitted with little computer chips and you choose a pin code. At shops (stores) and restaurants you insert your card into a little machine and type in your code. Most restaurants have multiple wireless machines the waiters bring to the table - eliminating the need to sign for anything.

Jillian feels I would be remiss in leaving out the fact that this system is designed to reduce fraud. She would like me to mention that in the states nobody really compares signatures or checks identification. In Europe they are far more vigilant. If you have an American card without a "chip and pin," they can swipe it but will require another form of ID and they will hold onto your card while you sign and compare the signatures.

Lastly, while spending your hard earned wages (salary) you might like to look for things that have gone on offer (on sale) and if you're over 65 and eligible for a discount, you're getting a concession.

EMBARRASSING

Faux pas are inevitable when you spend enough time immersed in a new culture...

My first day in grad school a faulty sink drenched me and when I got back to my meeting I said something about my pants being wet. Well, pants is the word for underwear so there were a few giggles at my expense. By the way, trousers is the word for pants and underwear can also be called knickers.

When I finished my dissertation I thought it might be nice to get it bound or printed on nice paper with some kind of cover. I remembered there was a bookmakers I always walked past and so I went in with a printed copy, stood on line, went up to the counter and asked what sort of book binding options they had. It was only when the man behind the counter stared at me blankly that I sort of took in my surroundings. Why does a bookmakers have 5 televisions showing horse races and lots of tiny pieces of paper and golf pencils strewn all around? And why is it so dark in here, how do they sew the bindings? It took me a minute, which is 59 seconds too long but, it took me a minute to realize that a bookmakers is a betting shop. I thought, "oh yeah like bookies!" and quickly left.

Another time we were having dinner with some family and my husband's lovely niece told me she was meeting her anti-natal group the next day. Are you wondering if thats a group for people who don't want to have kids - cause I was. Well, we're both wrong and I tricked you with my misspelling, it's an ante-natal group and in America we call those Pre-natal.

Going to stop here, it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood and we're heading to the park.

BESPOKE RESTAURANT TIPS

Thank you to my friends for all the great suggestions of words to discuss.

Today's word is BESPOKE (ahhh!)

Bespoke (ahhh!) is the English word for custom or customized. Bespoke Tailoring is basically a custom suit - in England you find lots bespoke items: tailoring, curtains, invitations... the ONLY Bespoke thing you absolutely cannot get is Bespoke Chocolates. That's because they are only available in nyc and they can't ship overseas (believe me I've tried to get them!!)

Other things:

A mess is called a Tip, as in "This place is a tip!"

If you wanted to leave a tip in a restaurant you would be leaving gratuity which, when included in your check (which by the way is called your bill) would be called a service charge. Here's a good sentence to practice with, "Is there a service charge included in my bill because I wasn't sure if I should leave a gratuity?"

A reservation is a booking and you can conjugate book like a verb.

What time shall I book for?

Have you booked?

David is booking a table!

If the restaurant is a tip it is likely full of rubbish and the staff will have to tidy it. A tip is a mess, to tidy is to clean and rubbish is the word for garbage or trash. A rubbish bin is a garbage pail and trash bags are known as bin liners or black sacks.

When you're out to eat you may need to use the bathroom. In England a bathroom is a room with a bath, so you're really looking for the toilets or a loo. They don't say restroom but if you asked for the ladies you would be OK. Toilet paper is also known as toilet roll or loo roll and a toilet paper holder: loo roll holder.

If you were hoping to get an appetizer you'll need to ask for a starter. And since it takes too long to say main courses you choose form a list of mains. Desserts are called puddings or sweet. Sometimes people will ask if you "Fancy sweet?"

To Fancy is to want.

Four years ago I asked an english guy if he wanted to hang out on the weekend, my future-husband replied with a text saying "Fancy tea on Sunday." I immediately called my cousins for translation, "Does that mean he's busy having expensive tea this weekend?"

DOCTORS

Some weeks, I have to confess, I do hate it here. It's not London though its the fact that London is not where I grew up, have old friends and know my way around. Anyway, when I'm homesick my best distraction is pointing out all the things that seem silly and telling my husband how in *America* everything is wonderful, efficient, easy, and makes sense. (Oh please! who am I kidding)

Anyway:

Doctors who are specialists are called Mr. - if you call them Dr. its insulting, because they have been promoted... back to the same title as every other man on the planet.

Specialists are called Consultants. So, when I had my baby I had a consultant. Oh, and maternity ward nurses are called midwives, just to freak me out and make me think they have no medical training.

Dr's offices are called Surgeries, so if you want a check-up you go to surgery. If you have a cold, you go to surgery. And by the way check-ups are called checks, so I had to take the baby for her "six week check." (Checks you write for payment are spelled cheques)

Operating rooms are called theaters. So, when you have your appendix taken out you go into the theater.

Theaters are, to my knowledge, called theaters. Concert Halls are called Halls, but so are dorms - so when I was a grad student I was living in Halls (Halls of Residence).

I could keep going but I'm exhausted - the baby has been sick this week.

Or as the English would say

I could carry on but I'm knackered - the baby has been poorly all week.

goodnight!

TIC TAC TOE

Tic Tac Toe = Noughts and Crosses

so, zero is nought

Xs are crosses

Z is said Zed

and a Dumpster is a Skip

KEEP FIT

My favorite all time number one expression I've heard here is "Keep Fit."

In America keeping fit would be a verb as in: I'm keeping fit, I'm trying to keep fit...

Here in England its a noun. The phrase is one noun.

For example: This weekend I'm doing keep fit.

Seriously.

I met a guy at a party who told me all about his keep fit, he does keep fit once a week in the park with a trainer and he enjoys the fresh air. Since he started doing keep fit he has lost lots of weight and he is sleeping better.

This reminds me of a few other things. Trainers are people you exercise with but they are also Sneakers. Im still confused about the words for sweatpants and I've noticed a distinct lack of sports bras at the gym. Also, pounds are a currency and stones are a measure of weight.

I suppose keep fit is not dissimilar to a work out - we can work out or have a work out - but somehow the use of keep fit is so much more amusing to me. Could a person who has a work out also have a keep fit?

Can you enjoy a keep fit?

"Oh man, I had such a hard keep fit yesterday my arms are still sore!"

So to sum up

work out = keep fit

sneakers = trainers

14 pounds = a stone

sweatpants = track suit bottoms

and oh, to have jane fonda's thighs...

I HAD TO LEARN A NEW LANGUAGE

Of course there are the obvious differences, they drive on the left side of the road and the policemen wear funny hats. I knew I would have to pay for things with pounds and use the underground to get the tube. I was prepared for the obvious but, the vocabulary I have accumulated in the last 6 years continues to amaze me. I had to learn a new language to get through grad school (compulsory meetings) and to pass my driving test (dipped headlights). I learned a whole bunch of new words while dating (fancy tea?) and throughout my pregnancy (consultants and nappies). My husband and I have made a hobby of noticing these differences and I am giving in to some peer pressure and starting a blog. So, here is our little lexicon of american vrs british english. I literally don't know where to begin.